The world of fashion is a freaky and terrible place full of beauty and fear and painful stupidity, and no movie got that right in a more hilarious way than 2001's Zoolander. Hilarious characters, brilliant dialogue, and moments of surreal ridiculousness make it one of the most quoted comedies out there even 15 years after release.
Those seeking more of the unique comedy of Zoolander in the fancy new shoes of Zoolander No.2, will be sorely disappointed, however. In the same way we saw a few years back in Anchorman 2, Zoolander 2 takes the jokes that worked in the first film and tells them again, bigger and longer, and over and over. Sometimes it works, and there's a little of the old magic to be found, but unfortunately, the majority of Zoolander 2 is noticeably free of laughs.
Derek Zoolander has been in seclusion since the tragic death of his wife and the surrendering of his son to child services after the fated collapse of the Derek Zoolander school for kids who can't read good and who wanna learn to do other stuff good too. When he's contacted by globe-trotting Billy Zane and urged to return to the world of modelling, and thus regain his former life and the love of his son, Zoolander makes the long trip to Rome to meet with new fashion mogul Atoz and her mysterious crew of fashion villains.
Similarly returning from a life outside of the spotlight is free-love enthusiast Hansel, seeking a desperate escape from his quiet life when he learns he's got all 7 of his poly-amorous multi-racial lovers pregnant at once. Face to face once more, the two washed up male models must regain their skill and passion for the art, and along the way foil a Da Vinci Code style clandestine conspiracy to eliminate the world's pop-stars and save Zoolander's son from the machinations of the nefarious Mugatu.
Now as said, there is a little joy to be found in the returning characters. Zoolander and Hansel are great as they always were, and returning villain Mugatu is still probably the best character of the whole piece, but almost every new character that Zoolander 2 forces upon us is frankly awful. New antagonist Don Atari is particularly bad, with far too much time wasted on his endless and painfully unfunny faux-hipster dialogue. Other new characters like the awkwardly animated eleven-year-old-played-by-middle-aged-man Vip are just inexplicable as well as not funny, and the humor seems more forced on reminding the viewer how long it's been since the last movie than really giving us anything new to enjoy in this one. Some jokes that take great time and money to set up fall astoundingly flat, at one point in particular a car stunt that must have cost a fortune to shoot gives us about the weakest punchline in the entire film. The reprieves as far as new characters are concerned are found in the Fashion Police agent helping Derek and Hansel in their quest, who's not terrifically funny, but it does mean we get to see Penelope Cruz in lingerie swimwear, so be thankful for small mercies. Atoz herself is a great send-up of Donatella Versace, but one that runs a little out of steam with her only joke.
A big part of the first Zoolander's comedy came from careful celebrity cameos, and it made them feel organic, like they were a part of the story and there for a reason. Zoolander 2 takes that idea and utterly spoils it, by hamfisting in every celebrity they possibly can, just to have Derek or Hansel loudly exclaim their name and say "Wow, what're you doing here in (insert kooky situation)?" and then move on. A handful of the cameos are well placed, like an actually acting Keifer Sutherland who's too funny for the rest of the film, and some choice members of real fashion society, but most are just pathetic. No one who is a fan of the original Zoolander is going to be excited at the prospect of a Katy Perry or Kim Kardashian cameo.
Zoolander 2 really is a little taste of fashion week. There's some brilliance shining through, some diamonds amidst the rough, but the majority of what you'll see flouncing about on stage really is a lot of nonsense that no one would ever want to wear.
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