Movie Review: Assassin's Creed.

Adapting a video game into other media is not easy. It's almost become expected for game properties to make bad films, and that's usually because they don't have enough story to form the basis of a proper narrative structure from beginning to end. What happens when the opposite is the case? 

Assassins Creed is a video game series that to date spans 20 games. It's known for having one of the most complex, sophisticated science fiction story-lines in modern gaming, and there's no sign of it slowing down anytime soon. Can you truly condense hundreds of hours of gaming into a single film, and bring with it the thrill and excitement of controlling a character running across a rooftop and shimmying down an awning, sneaking from shadow to shadow to finally piece the heart of your foe with a hidden blade? 

Let's take a look at Assassins Creed. 

Callum Lynch is a man on death row, a man made cold-hearted by the murder of his mother at the hands of his own father. When Cal is secretly spirited away from his own execution to awaken in the offices of the sinister Abstergo corporation, he learns that he will be the test subject in the ongoing experiments of Doctor Sofia and her amazing Animus. Only Cal possesses the genetic data necessary to use the Animus for its true purpose, and Cal must learn to master the machine's secrets, as well as escape the open walled prison he finds himself within.

Now, a plot-line that is already tenuously coherent in the source material is similarly so here, with quickly summarized techno-babble and inconsistent physics detailing the powers of the enigmatic Animus machine. The life's work of Doctor Sofia, the Animus allows people to relive the details of their ancestors, presented in a giant holographic simulacrum. The Animus machine itself is here depicted as a giant VR machine, complete with moving robotic arm, that allows Cal to re-enact every move, jump and thrust of combat throughout his reliving of  his ancestor Aguilar's adventures. This provides plenty of simple physics plot holes by its existence alone, but as the source material simply had the Animus as something out of an Ikea catalog, it gives some movement and energy to Cal's trip through the Animus that would otherwise be watching Michael Fassbender pretend to twitch in his sleep for half the film, so it's an understandable change.

The problem here really isn't so much some wonky science, it's really with Cal himself. For a hero, he is astoundingly unlikable. He's a man on death row for unrepentant murder. He's cold, dark, and unpleasant. If we are to care if Cal escapes his predicament, we need to care about him. We at least need to like him a little, and for some time it really isn't quite clear if Cal of Sofia is the one we should be rooting for here, as neither of them show much heroism. Cal shuffles from scene to scene, engaging the other test subjects in vague dialogue, and doesn't care what happens to him. He has no driving plot of his own, no home to return to, no child to save. He even seems unconcerned with solving the murder of his own mother.

What should be the highlight of the film, of course, the adventures of the guild of Assassins in war torn Spain under the inquisition of Torquemada, is simply not very exciting. You would think, with a title like Assassin's Creed, this would be the story of an Assassination. The plot and counter plot, the plan, the lead up to the climactic strike, these are the things that should have formed the thread that ties the adventures of Aguilar together. Unfortunately this is not the case. The entire film is a simple macguffin story, an item is lost, and Abstergo want to know where in history it was last seen. It is not compelling, it is not even interesting.

Each time Cal ventures back into the story of Aguilar in the search for the mysterious object, it's another loosely connected chapter in what seems to be the Guild of Assassins routinely messing up. These characters are meant to be skilled, trained assassins, striking from the shadows and disappearing like ghosts. We see none of the suggested skill or brilliance in the events of the past, in fact almost all of the Guild are killed in the first scene by random guards, leaving the surviving duo of Assassins to spend each scene they are in to ineptly be discovered and pursued noisily through buildings. These tiresome chase scenes form the basis of each regression into the Animus. They are loud, showy, full of flips and suspiciously modern parkour, and absolutely none of the excitement or physical thrill that they should deliver. There is more brilliance and tension packed into the on foot chase scene at the beginning of 'Casino Royale' than in the entirety of Assassin's Creed. Each scene here simply feels like a farce, with nameless goons chasing after the fleeing assassins from every angle, seemingly ahead of the heroes at every turn, to be punched and kicked, and then chase after them some more. You could stick the Benny Hill theme over most of these scenes and it wouldn't feel out of place, really. The film's production spent a lot of time boasting of the amazing feat of actually shooting the franchises famous 'leap of faith', a freefall from incredibly height. If they'd actually shot the thing, you certainly could have fooled me, as the scenes are covered in such heavy CGI fog and filler, that any real stunt performed is lost.

The absence of a compelling villain is a huge detractor in a film about professional Assassins. The games knew this, and even though the stories were 'find the item' plots as well, each had fiendish historical villains to eliminate in complex plots along the way. Here, we are presented with a handful of bad guys, none of which fit the bill.

Torquemada himself is of course the villain of the time period, and certainly is presented here as the big bad early on, and although he's present, he plays no impacting role in the heroes story. There is a big, scary looking warrior who seems to always be present to chase our Assassins, and gets a lot of screen-time looking intimidating, but he's a nobody. He doesn't get any lines, or as far as I caught, even a name.

It is thus left to the characters in the present to form the true villains of the piece, and they are unfortunately, both uninteresting to us as the viewers, and seemingly uninterested in the events of the story as well. The stone faced Jeremy Irons is the manager of the Abstergo institute. He's not particularly evil, he's even a supportive father to his daughter Sofia. We're not given any reason to dislike him, and he doesn't really do anything to make Cal dislike him either. He actually treats Cal remarkably fairly, all things considered. If we aren't in our seats waiting to see a great villain get his comeuppance, why would we be interested in watching a film about heroic assassins? There is a recurring mention of the Templar order as overarching villains, but we barely see them, and they don't seem to be all that invested in the events of the story at all, happy to pull their funding to the Animus project and move on right from early events of the film. If even the main bad guys don't want to waste their time with the story-line, why should we?

Assassin's Creed comes to its finale with a collection of events, some out of nowhere with characters we never got to know, others half-hearted resolutions to plot lines that simply never paid off. It ends with an uninspired whisper, some bait for future films, and no solid resolution for the events we've seen. I could confidently say it's the worst film I've seen in 2016, and it's been a shit year, everything considered. I was not excited, I was not thrilled, and the only real assassination in the film is truly anti-climactic in the most PG-13 way possible.

You will find more to enjoy in the franchise's games than in this adaptation. There's more compelling stories to be found, more likable heroes, more devious villains, and more simple entertainment in any of them than you'll find here.

Review: Final Fantasy XV.

It's said that Final Fantasy XV was a decade in the making.
Fans of the series can certainly believe it, with the lackluster response we've all had to the last few titles in the series.
The world's most popular fantasy RPG series, a virtual paragon of the gaming world, has been on a pretty steep decline ever since the days of 2001's Final Fantasy X. From the endless dungeons of FFXII, to the heavily criticized walkway straight paths of FFXIII, fans have been disappointed for some time.
FFXV makes an effort to correct these flaws of the past, offer players something a little new, as well as try to bring back some of what makes the series so great.

We start our story with a road trip as the young Prince Noctis and his three friends make waves across the countryside, heading to the neighboring country for the Prince's arranged wedding. Right from the moment you start, you get the feeling that character will be a big part of the game. Unlike previous games in the series, we are tied to these four characters for the duration, and only directly control Noctis himself. His three friends, gruff and handsome Gladiolus, sharp and dashing Ignis, and playful, cute Prompto, are at your side every step of the way.

There is a lot of charm to be found in FFXV. That really is the best word for it. Our four heroes are a group of friends who are genuinely lovable, and their exploits together, in friendship, brotherhood, and the conflicts and troubles that arise, are by far the best aspect of the game. They have strong personalities from the get go, each a well confirmed anime bishi boy stereotype. Prompto will whine if you spend too much time walking, or will beg to be taken to ride chocobos, Ignis will sternly advise the others against too much fast food, and so on. The casual conversation between the four friends is pretty much constant throughout the entire game, and amazingly, I never found myself tire of any of the characters. The personalities are perhaps more realistic than the standard fare you'll find in a Final Fantasy game, the moody Noctis is still more pleasant and likable than loner misery-guts like Cloud or Squall, and Prompto is still grounded and tame enough not to be an irritatingly ridiculous.

Each of the characters has distinct and unique skills, and where you'd normally expect to find these to be something appropriately RPG-esque like magic or hacking, you instead level up a characters talent for photography, or slowly nurture their ability to cook and prepare dishes. It's a little odd a first, but quickly becomes a hugely enjoyable addition. You'll pick up items dropped by enemies or purchased from supply stores, so that Ignis, the bespectacled intellectual member of your party, can cook up something good for dinner each night. You'll see your heroes seated around their campfire, eating the meal you directed Ignis to prepare. These moments of downtime are where the personalities shine, and also cleverly manages to disguise the repetitive saving/healing part of the game, notoriously a boring aspect of any RPG, and instead make it something constantly fun and ever changing. The characters react to the in-game events with an enthusiasm which is extremely entertaining, like Prompto trying to talk you out of taking on a particularly huge monster, or Gladiolus dryly quipping "Well that's bold of her." as a nude female enemy attacks.

Prompto, the wise cracking little brother of the team, snaps pictures of his own accord throughout the game, and gives you the chance to look through them and save any you like whenever you take a breather. Every picture in this article was taken by Prompto, completely without my say so, in the course of my play through. To hear Ignis shyly retort when he sees a picture of himself, or for the characters to argue over whether a particular shot was artistic or not, is a genuinely fun element to the game. The simple moment when I came back to camp after a big boss fight and seeing that Prompto had snapped a great picture of it adds something in a game I don't think I've ever seen before. The interactions and surprises between these guys will give you something to come back to every time you pick up the game.

The first act of the game is really just getting to know our heroes, and their place in the world. Soon enough, the old standby of great warring empires comes into play, and Noctis finds himself and his friends trapped away from his homeland, with the political future of his city unclear. It is here where the plot begins to suffer, however. Although the mood of the story changes from playful entourage of rich boys to outcast wanted political dissidents, they still act the same, and you can still continue on exactly as before. The game never really pushed me to a sense of urgency, and the story begins to become a little unclear round about act 2.

Is it a story of reconciliation between warring states? Reclaiming Noctis' long promised love with his childhood sweetheart? Or battling a daemonic invasion that rises with the strangely lengthening nights? It is all of these, and none really take center stage. A quite sizable chunk of the middle of the game had me running about finding objects of magical significance, and I don't even understand why we needed to get any of them in the first place. Just as suddenly, this plot is forgotten and replaced with seeking the approval of powerful spirits, the Final Fantasy summons, but I still didn't know why I was doing it or how it would help the story resolve.

The story has two or three characters that are seemingly set up as the villainous focus, and none seem to truly pay off. The third act abruptly changes the entire story, and the simple warring states plot had somehow become transformed into another story entirely. I wasn't quite sure when this change in events happened. To say this final act is rushed is a drastic understatement, and although it builds to a satisfying and thrilling finale, certainly could have been improved with more time and sense paid to what the hell was actually going on and why. Another tiny criticism, from my perspective, as lovable as the guys are, the game could have really done with some girls, as female characters were a little fleeting.

A place where it's clear fans of the series were paid close heed to, is the open world nature of the game. From the first moment, the world is open and fully explorable. You can completely ignore the story and go monster hunting for hours. I absolutely did. The game is packed out with bounty hunting missions for all manner of beasts, and dozens of side quests to keep you busy throughout. An element I feel may be argued over by fans is the lack of the traditional RPG grind. Trekking out to level up your characters a little more, finding more items and slowly building up your skills is a major part of almost any RPG, especially the JRPG subgenre, and it's almost entirely absent here. Not once in the entire course of the game did I find myself outmatched by a story quest, or have too much trouble with a hunt. Inexplicably, you can find Noctis' ultimate weapon early on in the game, and never have to use or worry about using anything else ever again, making all the big quests and dungeons to claim all the magical lore weapons feel pointless. Even the nefarious super-bosses, nigh-impossible bad guys that are a staple of the series often taking days of grinding and skill kajiggering to take down, were affairs that could be bested in the natural progression of your characters here. There is no massive challenge in the likes of Ruby Weapon or Penance to brag about beating here. The game seems to place most of the 'big bad' effect on the Adamantoise enemy, and big as a mountain and cool looking as hell though he may be, the fight is actually exceedingly dull, and his sheer size seemed to lead mainly to the game not being able to register his hit boxes correctly. I had hours of fun hunting down the many and varied monsters for the hunters guild, and could have happily done without the gimmicky giant turtle fight.

A decade it may have taken, but it's tough to tell if Final Fantasy XV will be the game fans are looking for. I myself had great fun with the characters, the hunting, and the speedy progression with which it flies by. There are a lot of quirks and new things to be found, and it's certainly the Final Fantasy most accessible to new gamers that there has ever been. In the same vein though, hardcore RPG nuts will find it all a little too easy to be sure. The personalities of our heroes are what will really make or break it for you, I feel. If you can get into the friendship between Noctis, Ignis, Prompto, and Gladiolus, you will enjoy taking the ride with them.