There are many heroes in the Marvel
Universe.
Characters that have captured the
imagination of millions across the globe since before the majority of
us were born. Spider-Man, Iron Man, The Hulk, Captain America. To
name only a tiny fraction of the many and varied heroes that provide
everyone with excitement, entertainment, even inspiration in their
everyday lives.
But is there one amongst the legions
that shines brighter than the rest? A hero so great we can all aspire
to emulate? One amongst the Avengers, Earths Mightiest heroes? Or the
Fantastic Four? A team held together by family and love? Is there
truly a hero grander than all the others?
No. Just kidding. This article is about
Doop.
'But just who is this Doop?' I hear you
blithely ask, Ignorant of the absurdity of your question.
Those who are in the know are painfully
aware of the floating little green potato looking thing lurking
around the pages of Marvel comics. Just look at that lovable little green blob.
He's been kicking around since 2001, a
(one can only assume off the cuff) creation of Peter Milligan and
Mike Allred in their run on X-Force. You see Joe Quesada had taken
over at that point, and various comics were getting overhauls. With
British talent Milligan (Penner of some truly classic 2000 AD stories) writing and Madman legend Allred with
the pencils, the team that emerged from the duo would turn out to be
one of the most surreal in Marvel's history. They would come to be
known as the X-Statix.
So what we end up with are a bunch of
self-obsessed and morally deficient young heroes with powers ranging
from wholly useless to ridiculously specific. They would be killed
off left and right, act like immature idiots, and generally be a irresponsible team, albeit one of the most interesting there's ever been. Through the swiftly changing roster, one of the only
standbys of the team is their cameraman. Or cameraperson. This little
floating green potato that looked a bit like a stop halfway between
Slimer and Gary Busey.
You could be dooped into thinking he wasn't important, and although ever-present, he never actually does all that much. But if there was a soul behind the body of the X-Statix, it would be green and Doop shaped. He floats around, rarely doing much
more that getting footage of the team going about their business and
sneaking shots up the female team-members skirts, occasionally
spouting dialogue in a nonsensical wingding that is apparently unintelligible.
So what exactly are Doop's powers? Who
the hell knows? They're super-dooper, how about that? At one time or
another he's shown evidence of super strength and resilience,
transforming and enlarging his body, dooplicating items, something
that seems to resemble creating pocket dimensions in his own body,
energy beams, and just plain weirdness like taking himself bodily
apart with no physical limitation.
Doopseak remains an enigmatic secret buried far deeper than
anything in a Dan Brown novel. In universe, everyone seems to
understand it of course, leading to baffling comedy in the reactions
to whatever it is the little guy is saying.
In a crossover event with the Avengers
near the end of X-Statix's run, Doop is taken hostage by Russian
terrorists and turned into an atomic superweapon. Captain America
makes a vague reference to something called 'The Doop Project' in the
final days of the Cold War. Could Doop possibly be of Soviet Origin?
Who the hell knows, we never hear any more on the subject.
That covers literally all we ever
really discover about Doop. There's some vague allusions to relatives
at one point, but they remain an unsolved mystery. Through thick and
thin, Doop remains the most stalwart member of the team. They send him to
deal with a trouble-making prospective member at one point, and Doop
does the kid in with an axe. Holy shit, that's some brutal stuff,
Doop. He's capable of all sorts of things, including being an
ordained Anglican priest and engaging in apparent sexual
relationships with She-Hulk and Madonna. He palled around with
Wolverine on a noir-style detective romp for a couple of issues, and
one time the little guy went toe-to-toe with the Mighty Thor in a
confrontation so calamitous it awoke the sleeping Valkyries of
Asgard.
So how do salacious tendencies,
mystical dialogue, a dooplicitous nature and some incredibly poorly
defined powers combine into a cult character shadowing the margins of
the Marvel universe?
Who knows, but when the X-Statix had
their comic canceled (A criminal travesty as far as I'm concerned), every team member was apparently done to death in the last issue. The issue is chiefly focusing on the more vocal
heroes of course, and Doop is seen in the background in one frame,
lying sprawled over a chair with a nasty stomach wound.
Could the blob be done in so easily?
Was that the end for our hero? Doopsday?
No chance.
Other members of Marvel's creative team
took notice of that little chap. In an unrelated comic, somewhere in
the multiverse, a passing child might be seen clutching a familiar
looking green doll. Jean Grey had an awfully distinctive blob of a
keychain one time. In an issue of symbiotic hero Toxin's
self titled comic, a scrawl of graffiti in the background
proudly reads: Doop Lives.
Was the little blob
becoming an almost Christ-like figure within the ethos of the Marvel
universe? Not quite, but had he subtly infiltrated the lines between?
Indoopitably.
A few years later
Doop resurfaced, alive and well, a mysterious entity discovered deep
in space speaking in an all too familiar tongue. He reappeared in the
Marvel universe not with a bang, but with a whisper. A simple
reemergence unquestioned by readers who knew Doop not. Among other
things, Doop went on an utterly sdoopid kung-fu adventure with Iron
Fist, acted as a criminal investigator to the mutants of Utopia
(Driving his victim to tears with an interrogation comprised
completely of questions about French cinema) and appeared in a mutant
romance special that was truly weird.
Since then, Doop
has been appearing in the pages of every mutant based comic there is,
apparently having found employment with the Jean Grey School for
Higher learning. You'll see him at a desk in front of students,
sleeping through one of his own lecture periods, or eating doughnuts
in the staff room. He seems to be doing well in the teaching
profession. Of course, Doop's employment as staff is purely a front for the real job at the school, that of an undercover security professional, looking out for the safety of the students, and rooting out trouble at the heart of the problem. Logan can count on his old buddy Doop to do what needs gettin' done.
That about brings
us up to speed. Marvel NOW is in full swing, and creeping up on us
very soon for some strange reason that only the correct alignment of
planets could possibly have allowed, Doop is getting his own little limited series. Set during the events of the massive mutant book crossover
'Battle of the Atom' Doop is getting his own slice of the
center stage after all this time.
Screw The Avengers,
go out and buy your kids (or wife, boyfriend, grandmother, etc) some
Doop. They'll love you for it.
You said it man.